Steps & Strategy in Getting Back With Your Ex

So now that you know that in the task of getting back with your ex you need to be emotionally and mentally where you were when your relationship was successful, (click here for Part 1: How to Get Your Ex Back), here is a simplified 2-step process you may find useful: 

1)     Exploring

2)     Taking action

By exploring, we mean going on a fact-finding mission about your relationship. As we said before, if you’re going to attempt getting back with your ex, you need to know what went wrong and why. (And no, you’re not going to go ask your ex! For now, this mission will be top secret.) 

View The Magic of Making Up: Getting Back With Your Ex

Exploring can begin by asking a crucial question that will decide the actions that you
may or may not take:

• Was the relationship ever in a state where you were both happy being
  with each other? 

It’s important that you answer this question honestly. And if you have doubts about the
answer, you can ask a friend who witnessed the relationship. Maybe you think the answer
is yes, but others, seeing it from the outside, might have a different opinion.  

If you answer ‘no’ to this question (and we commend your bravery), then it’s time for
you to ponder whether it’s even worth getting back with your ex. Is it worth your time
and effort, your self-esteem, to go after something that never really worked to
begin with? 

If you answered yes, then you can move on to exploring how, when and why the
relationship deteriorated. What you find out during this phase of exploring will determine
step #2, Taking Action. 

If from the very beginning, there was a pattern of you chasing after your partner’s attention
and love, and this eventually contributed to the break-up, your strategy for getting back
with your ex will be different than if it was the other way around. 

There's one thing you need to know about taking action:

• Because you are in a fragile situation emotionally, a lot of the techniques
  advised by the experts in getting back with your ex, are counter-intuitive to
  what you would naturally want to do. 

In other words, if you have the impulse to act, don’t. You may do more harm than
good ‘following your gut’ and, for example, overwhelming your ex with text messages
or phone calls. The truth is that you are not following your gut. You are simply reacting
to thoughts that assail you: “I know he still loves me.” “I only want her to explain to me
why!” “I just want to hear his voice.” “I can’t let her get away with this!” 

These thoughts are not your gut. It’s your broken heart talking, screaming; demanding a resolution in any way possible, even if it means getting back at your ex instead of getting
back with your ex.  

If you could hear your gut at this moment, it would probably whisper to you: 

• "You are worthy of happiness. Think and act from that truth."   

It’s true that not all break-ups can be avoided or fixed. It’s true that getting back with your
ex might not always be possible. But if that’s what you really want, then go for it!

But be smart about it. Getting back with your ex can be the best decision you’ll ever make.
Just make sure you go at it with patience, love and care, so as not to lose yourself in the process.

Also, check out what TW Jackson has to say about getting back with your ex in this video:

top