Dealing with a Break-Up (Part 1)

Sad and potentially devastating, dealing with a break-up is one of the most stressful situations that life can throw at us.

If you are at the receiving end of a break up, you may first feel shock; later, you may be bombarded by contradictory emotions and thoughts: regret and blame (towards self or others); explosive anger and jealousy, deep sorrow...

This is how our system (mind, soul, body) manages dealing with a break-up; the best way it has to process these events.

The question is: How can we help this process through?
The answer: with a sound method, and with the tools that help you follow the method.
A step-by-step guide, like TW Jackson's:

The Magic of Making Up: How to Get Your Ex Back

 The idea behind any method is to have a course of action that will help the natural
process of a break-up so that:

• You come out stronger, smarter, and in the end, happier.
  and...
• You put ourselves in an emotional place where you get to choose whether you
  want to get an ex back, or to move on.

The key is choosing. Acquiring a feeling of emotional freedom is a good indicator that
we're mastering the art of dealing with a break-up!

Let's explore now what you can do (and what you shouldn't do!), while dealing with a
break-up.

The Process of Dealing with a Break-Up

Like any process, dealing with a break up is comprised of sort-of-distinct stages.
Although not the same for everyone, some of these stages include:

1. Shock: an immediate reaction to an event that has the potential of being traumatic
   at some level.
   
2. Denial: after the shock, and right as you're beginning to fight the feelings of
   dejection, anger and anguish that follow, you may go through a phase of refusing
   to believe the reality of the break-up. You tell yourself that your partner didn’t really
   mean what they said or did, or that this is temporary and that everything will be
   all right.

Denial and the intense feelings that come with it, are important because our minds and
emotions need a moment to recover from the shock of the break-up, and a temporary
refusal of reality can help buy us that time.

Like with the initial shock, there is not much we can do to avoid or change our feelings
and thoughts about what is happening during this stage of dealing with a break-up. We
have little freedom of thought and we are forced to let this emotional process take its
natural course.

But if we can't control what and how we feel, we can still have some control over our
actions. And our advice at this stage is:

• Stay away from doing things in reaction to your feelings and thoughts during
  this stage. 

Why? Because the emotions created by this state of affairs, are not meant to prompt you
into action. On the contrary, they're geared to give you time to heal and re-adjust to reality,
so that at some point, you can love again.

Reacting to your emotions in this stage can have the effect of delaying your return to feeling
good about life again, and it can be potentially damaging to your chances of getting back
with your ex.

Knowing that dealing with a break-up is a natural process, and that most of the emotions
and thoughts during this process are not meant to be followed by actions, you will go
through this necessary stage, faster.

And then, you can begin to take the reigns in the process of dealing with a break-up.

To read how this process continues,

Read Part 2 of this article: The Art of Getting Over a Break-up 

Also, check out what TW Jackson has to say about dealing with a break-up in this video: