What You Need to Know to Save a Relationship

It doesn’t matter if a relationship is on the brink of disintegration or if it’s after a break-up. 
It has been our experience that in most cases, it  is possible to save a relationship,
but not until you put into practice some crucial interpersonal skills. Even if a relationship breakup seems inevitable, there is something you can do.

However, it is entirely possible that during the first few steps, you’ll be alone working on the relationship, while your partner continues in the same pattern that contributed to the present situation. Please don’t force your partner into this process.

For an excellent course on how to save a relationship, check out Amy Waterman's Save My Marriage Today:

The whole idea of this process is for your partner to see your change and spontaneously
follow suit. That’s how you save a relationship, by both making a choice to save it,
and not being seemingly forced into it.

With that said, there are roughly 5 Steps in How to Save a Relationship:

1. Be the first one willing to make a change.

A relationship is based on trust, and if you show your partner that you’re willing to change,
there will be a better chance of saving the relationship.

Ok. But how do you know what to change?

That’s when the next tip comes in:

2. Practice seeing the tough situations through your partner’s eyes.

This is an important skill to save a relationship. Naturally, we are usually focused on how
we  feel, which is understandable, necessary and rightful. But the same goes for your
partner, and since you are making the first move, why not practice seeing things from
your loved one’s eyes. You will add depth to the link that bonds you, and you may find answers as of to what you can do to save your relationship.

The next step:

3. Take time to discover—and acknowledge—the reasons for the
“challenges” in your relationship.

Discovering those challenges and acknowledging your part, your responsibility in them, will sometimes be enough to save a relationship.

Now that you are starting to see other layers of the relationship, other aspects of it, maybe you will want to bring up and talk about certain issues.

Communication is key. It’s important that your partner knows what your needs are. If not, how can those needs ever be met?

But communication is a two way street, and no two people communicate in the same
manner. The way you communicate and your timing, is sometimes more important than what you communicate.

Whenever you choose to talk about something that is important to you, do it from a
place of respect or don't do it at all.

4. Be calm, considerate, and patient with your partner—and yourself—as
you communicate an issue that needs addressing.

Pleading, screaming, threatening, begging, commanding, throwing fits, slamming
doors, etc., will only increase the emotional gap that those same issues created. By
the same token, timing includes knowing when not to talk; for example, your partner
just came back from work and all he/she needs is some silence to decompress.

The fifth step that we suggest, is that you reach an agreement on how to go about the
issue or issues. Come up together with specific actions for both of you to follow.

5. Remember, it’s almost always possible to work out an agreement
with your partner that to some extent works for you both!

We’ve shared some steps you can practice right away, as you begin the work it takes
to learn not only how to save a relationship, but how to help it thrive.

Check out Save My Marriage Today, our recommended how to save a relationship course:

 Sign up for their excellent (& free!) mini-course.

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